escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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