i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
