Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
