So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
