Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
