I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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