i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize