Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was a blind-side dick pic.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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