you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
