i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
