Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
