bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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