chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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