I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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