Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
