arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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