I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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