You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
