god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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