ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
