sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
