He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
