im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
