Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
