Where is the hickey?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
