Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
