I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
