ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The air taste purple.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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