The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
