no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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