3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
