Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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