i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
