I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
