She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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