I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
