I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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