Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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