I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
