he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
