you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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