C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
