I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
