Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
