Plan B is the new Plan A
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
