i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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