Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
