its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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