I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
