I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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