and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
