A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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