Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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