i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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