wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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