I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
